Rock Girl '13

I would LOVE to be the one to choose which woman gets to represent the local rock station,  103.9 the Bear, as the next "Rock Girl". I skimmed through the contestants this morning, and the majority of them are the quintessential female rocker...from Indiana ("I'm on the look out for my next baby daddy"), or mistakenly submitted their application, thinking they were going to be representing Sunny 101.5. There are far too many bathroom and selfie shots, and although there is a surprisingly minimal amount of duckface (I counted three), one duckface is always too much. I don't want to spot this chick on-line or at a venue and be reminded of why I dislike going to the mall, why I rarely listen to the radio, spark a discussion of balancing substance and appearance. She should be a representative of hard rock; a genre of music that evokes a very strong emotional experience. Granted, she should also be easy on the eyes, but this should not be an absolute requisite. In short, you should want to party with the broad.

Here are my top picks:
#1
#2
#3
#4


(I don't personally know any of those women, and my opinion is based solely on their looks, their typed submissions, and the amount of typos within their submissions.)

One of Gage's first accomplishments in Minecraft: killing all the cows and pigs, and eating their corpses. While doing so, he unknowingly makes the character slow walk, and wants to know what the crap is wrong with the guy (his butt sticks out when he slow-walks). As proof as to how unaccustomed I am to being around virgin ears, I replied "He either has to poop from eating too much, or he's a prossss.." -that's where I realized that the word "prostitute" was probably not yet part of my nephew's vocabulary, and I did not want to be the one credited to that downward spiral.