making plans for an -almost- consumerism free Christmas,
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Another day of sitting around waiting. Despite the small food baby in my belly and the fatigue, I'm feeling quite a bit better. I told a friend last night (one who so nicely dropped by for a visit and gifted me a 2011 World of Warcraft trivia desk calendar) that my biggest worry right now is that the medicine fails to work any further and there is no sign of remission in the future, near or far. If that happens, I will have to have the surgery, twhich if I'm put into the situation where I know theres no other option, I'm ok with it, but theres the more time off work that I'll be missing, which creates an even bigger problem.
*breathe...* One step at a time...
Now I can spend this remaining free time day dreaming about finishing my kitchen, getting my online business back to running again, and the upcoming Holidays! I think maybe I will even change the red berry wreath that's been in my front door for almost a year now.
Now I can spend this remaining free time day dreaming about finishing my kitchen, getting my online business back to running again, and the upcoming Holidays! I think maybe I will even change the red berry wreath that's been in my front door for almost a year now.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
I'm laying here in bed, which is something that I've been doing all day, all week, all month it feels like. My goal tonight is to chill out until they take my last vitals for the evening and then drift to sleep with the help of Ambien.
I'm not a huge fan of the pill, this will be my third night taking it. First night I had a whole 5mg pill, second night - cut in half to make a 2.5 mg and tonight I think I'll go back to the 5mg. I just kept waking up too often last night and the woozy effects the day after remained the same, no matter what dosage amount.
Great news though, Dr. P did in fact show up today! I am willing to bet that he really isnt happy with how I'm coming along and wishes my bleeding would stop, well I agree with him, I wish it would stop completely. Forever. But there is only one 100% sure way of that, and that would be surgery, something that I'm not 100% sure I'm ready for. I want to exhaust all avenues of putting this disease into remission and being able to live my life. I'm really worried about what the future is going to bring, whether its more flareups, more hospital visits, not being able to travel, etc. But I really have to learn to put my faith in God and take one step at a time.
My first step: Dr. P decided to forgo the 5 days left of my wait time and go ahead with an early Remicade infusion, my second. Then put me on a "Soft" diet. I imagined mounds of mashed potatoes and applesauce - still a nummy change from the chicken broth and countless bowls of sugary jello. And is going to send me home most likely on Friday!
Right as soon as he left my room, my mom went down to the cafe and brought up some toast for me, (pizza for her and dad too, but I tried not to pay too much attention to that. Must remember, cheese = worse for me now than normal.)
I felt like I was breaking some rule, toasted white bread really wasn't considered part of the "Soft diet" was it? And not to mention, how well was it going to play with my damaged colon? I have a feeling I'm going to be googling a lot of foods for a while, to see how well other people have reacted. And I still find it funny that a cup of broth and 2 slices of toast can fill me up.
Then came dinner! I was overjoyed to hear the little knock on the door and the announcement of "Nutrition!", watch them bring in this tray with an unknown meal - they keep the main course covered with those weird heavy plastic domes. But I could smell the vegetable soup, and it pleased me. Unfortunately, I did not finish my green beans, as they were just steamed and too rough for me to digest, the soup was very salty, but I drank all of the broth, and after making sure the tomatoes were sans seeds, ate a few of them. Also the mug in the right hand corner, it's coffee. I kind of laughed at the thought of me drinking coffee again. Everything else was really good, my critic was probably biased, since it has been 12 days since I've had a meal that required cutting, and chewing. They left me a little menu to plan out my meals for tomorrow. I opted for cottage cheese, more bland soups (chick. noodle & mushroom soups), herbal tea, pudding, turkey sammiches and something I'm probably going to regret - baked salmon. My choices were: Cheeseburger, Lasagna, Baked Salmon. Of course to me, the fish is the least dangerous. We'll find out tomorrow ;)
I'm not a huge fan of the pill, this will be my third night taking it. First night I had a whole 5mg pill, second night - cut in half to make a 2.5 mg and tonight I think I'll go back to the 5mg. I just kept waking up too often last night and the woozy effects the day after remained the same, no matter what dosage amount.
Great news though, Dr. P did in fact show up today! I am willing to bet that he really isnt happy with how I'm coming along and wishes my bleeding would stop, well I agree with him, I wish it would stop completely. Forever. But there is only one 100% sure way of that, and that would be surgery, something that I'm not 100% sure I'm ready for. I want to exhaust all avenues of putting this disease into remission and being able to live my life. I'm really worried about what the future is going to bring, whether its more flareups, more hospital visits, not being able to travel, etc. But I really have to learn to put my faith in God and take one step at a time.
My first step: Dr. P decided to forgo the 5 days left of my wait time and go ahead with an early Remicade infusion, my second. Then put me on a "Soft" diet. I imagined mounds of mashed potatoes and applesauce - still a nummy change from the chicken broth and countless bowls of sugary jello. And is going to send me home most likely on Friday!
I felt like I was breaking some rule, toasted white bread really wasn't considered part of the "Soft diet" was it? And not to mention, how well was it going to play with my damaged colon? I have a feeling I'm going to be googling a lot of foods for a while, to see how well other people have reacted. And I still find it funny that a cup of broth and 2 slices of toast can fill me up.
Then came dinner! I was overjoyed to hear the little knock on the door and the announcement of "Nutrition!", watch them bring in this tray with an unknown meal - they keep the main course covered with those weird heavy plastic domes. But I could smell the vegetable soup, and it pleased me. Unfortunately, I did not finish my green beans, as they were just steamed and too rough for me to digest, the soup was very salty, but I drank all of the broth, and after making sure the tomatoes were sans seeds, ate a few of them. Also the mug in the right hand corner, it's coffee. I kind of laughed at the thought of me drinking coffee again. Everything else was really good, my critic was probably biased, since it has been 12 days since I've had a meal that required cutting, and chewing. They left me a little menu to plan out my meals for tomorrow. I opted for cottage cheese, more bland soups (chick. noodle & mushroom soups), herbal tea, pudding, turkey sammiches and something I'm probably going to regret - baked salmon. My choices were: Cheeseburger, Lasagna, Baked Salmon. Of course to me, the fish is the least dangerous. We'll find out tomorrow ;)
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Is this the last night of my hospital stay? Who knows!
The doctor that was going to talk to about that subject never showed up today, so it's another night in the hospital for me.
Yesterday, one of the nurses aquired a prescription, through one of my doctors, for Ambien, to help me achieve a much deeper sleep. Any slight noise or twinge in my stomach wakes me up these days and I'm only catching little catnaps throughout the evening on into the day. Tonight, I'm taking a 5mg Ambien cut in half.
In hopes that I would be sent home either tonight or tomorrow night, my mom smuggled me some mashed potatoes from the eatery downstairs. I was smart enough to not eat them straight, nor eat all of them. I took two scoops and mixed them into my chicken broth, making a sort of potatoey chickeny soup, which was very delicious (after 3 days of nothing but straight broth, heck yeah it was delicious!). There haven't had any repercussions from eating it...so far, so good.
I've also stopped eating my Italian Ice and most of my jello that they're giving me for each meal, which makes Breakfast incredibly bare because thats all they give me for breakfast: Jello, Italian Ice, and tea.
I am still bummed about all of those lost entries, I'm not sure if I have it in me to re-write them, which makes it even worse because I had written down coming to the hospital and discovering that I had Ulcerative Colitis.
Yesterday, one of the nurses aquired a prescription, through one of my doctors, for Ambien, to help me achieve a much deeper sleep. Any slight noise or twinge in my stomach wakes me up these days and I'm only catching little catnaps throughout the evening on into the day. Tonight, I'm taking a 5mg Ambien cut in half.
In hopes that I would be sent home either tonight or tomorrow night, my mom smuggled me some mashed potatoes from the eatery downstairs. I was smart enough to not eat them straight, nor eat all of them. I took two scoops and mixed them into my chicken broth, making a sort of potatoey chickeny soup, which was very delicious (after 3 days of nothing but straight broth, heck yeah it was delicious!). There haven't had any repercussions from eating it...so far, so good.
I've also stopped eating my Italian Ice and most of my jello that they're giving me for each meal, which makes Breakfast incredibly bare because thats all they give me for breakfast: Jello, Italian Ice, and tea.
I am still bummed about all of those lost entries, I'm not sure if I have it in me to re-write them, which makes it even worse because I had written down coming to the hospital and discovering that I had Ulcerative Colitis.
Well, this can't be good.
Today we learned that all of the posts on the "Edit Posts" page are live, and not old saved shells of past entries
i.e. - I deleted all of my past entries and am now stuck at page 1, which -really- sucks because of all of the writing I've done in the past few days here at the hospital.
i.e. - I deleted all of my past entries and am now stuck at page 1, which -really- sucks because of all of the writing I've done in the past few days here at the hospital.
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